Ever since the beginning of VIVA Magazine we have tried nearly every year to bag an interview with this Manchester music hero. Six years later and Noel Gallagher finally agrees! A couple of my friends, who know him personally, told me he was a really nice guy which eased my nerves a little before one of the biggest interviews of my journalistic career. They were right, not only was Noel a delight to speak to but his dry whitty sense of humour had me in stitches throughout our twenty minute chat.

VIVA Ems: Hi Noel, this is Emma from VIVA magazine.

Noel: Ok there’s no need to shout!

VIVA Ems: (laughs) Sorry, I’ve just got you on loudspeaker because I’m recording it. Bear with me one second. my computer has just failed on me. With all the questions on!

Noel: It’s ok, don’t worry about it, I’m here. I’ve got f**k all better to do!

VIVA Ems: (laughs) Sorry. I just wanted to say before we start, Thank you so much for doing this interview. We’ve wanted to get you on the front cover of VIVA magazine for like six years now! (Laughs)

Noel: (Laughs) Well what’s taken so long!

VIVA Ems: You didn’t agree until up til now!

Noel: Oh.

VIVA Ems: When was the last time you were in Manchester?

Noel: Oh, that was for City’s first home game! I always make a point of going to City’s first and last home games of the season if I’m around. So the last time I was there was when we f**king murdered Chelsea.

VIVA Ems: Oh yes. My Dad and little Bro weren’t happy about that, they are Chelsea fans! So back in the day of you and Liam hanging out in Manchester, where was your favourite hot spot? 

Noel: To hang out? Um, let me see. Well, I used to go to the Hacienda a lot! I used to go to the Dry Bar a lot, the Cyprus Tavern. I don’t know if you remember that? You probably don’t! The Cyprus Tavern was the only place in the early eighties, apart from the Hacienda, where they would play Indie music. But, to be honest, I used to go to a lot of gigs back then. I wasn’t really one for hangouts as such. Obviously I come from way out in the suburbs, so I just used to go to gigs at places such as Band On The Wall and then various universities. So I was more of a gig-going lad as opposed to your Saturday night Rotters!

VIVA Ems: (Laughs) Saturday night Rotters! When I first moved to Manchester about eight years ago I used to listen to Clint Boon on XFm. Well I still do but it’s called Radio X now. He always used to play the ident of “Oasis used to be my roadies” what was it like being Clint Boon’s roadie?

Noel: Oh yeah it was great! He’s a good lad Clint. I’d really enjoyed my three, four years or whatever it was, roadying with them. Him and Graham Lambert in particular are very, very funny dudes and I had a great time. I never used to dance in front of the mirror with a tennis racket or any of that sh*t but I was always obsessed with music and I always had this feeling that I might be destined somehow, to have some kind of life in the music game and when I became a roadie with them, I thought maybe this was it for me! Kind of behind the amps, being a worker bee and I was very content to do that and I genuinely mean this. If Liam hadn’t have f**king mithered me to be in his band, I’d probably still be a roadie to this day! I had a screaming lack of ambition in those days and I was f**king high as a kite for most of the time!

VIVA Ems: (Laughs) So the last time I saw you in the papers, when you were up in Manchester, you were hanging out with Mani from the Stone Roses. You were papped coming out of Rosso!

Noel: I think you’ll find that Mani was hanging out with me!

VIVA Ems: Sorry! Yeah of course! (Laughs) Have you guys ever thought of collaborating musically? 

Noel: No, Mani is a very old friend. I’ll tell you how I met Mani. I was at the Hacienda one night and this was in 1987 and everyone that used to go to the Hacienda would go to a place in Hulme called The Kitchen, which was in the flats. It was a very old, run-down derelict flat which they’d knocked down and made into this sort of illegal disco and I remember, very early one Sunday morning, just stood in this dark, dank room, dancing and I passed this lad a spliff who was a complete stranger to me. Then, as the sun was coming up, I suddenly realised, “F**k me! That’s the bass player from The Stone Roses!” And we’ve been friends ever since. So he’s known me before I was even in Oasis, back when I was a roadie but I’ve never done anything with him. We were going to do some shows once, when I’d left Oasis but it didn’t ever come together but you never know.

VIVA Ems: I’ve met Mani a couple of times and he seems really cool! Congratulations on your recent Q Award for Best Album! My favourite track on the album is ‘Lock All The Doors.’ I recently saw a video clip where you said it took you over twenty-three years to complete that track because you couldn’t get the verse to fit with the chorus but you found inspiration one day as you were coming out of the local Tesco! Where’s been the most random place you’ve been and had a sudden hit of inspiration for a new song?

Noel: Well, the way that I write is, I come up with the chords and then I come up with the melody. I can be sat down just messing around on the guitar, playing for pleasure but, as long as I know the tune and the melody, I can sing it anywhere and then bits and words can pop into my head. When I’m having dinner with my Missus! She’ll be talking to me about some bullsh*t or other and she’ll be looking at me saying, “You’re not listening to me! Are ya?” and I’ll be literally writing a song. I don’t know how inspiration finds me, like anywhere. I mean that particular song, I’ve been trying to finish it off for twenty-three years. I had the chorus and I could never quite find the verses and then, for some reason, I was coming out of the Tesco one night and just turning round the corner of my street where Boots is and bang! It just hit me and there you go! 

VIVA Ems: The other track I really like, which is on the deluxe version, is “Revolution Song.” Why did you only put this as a bonus track on the deluxe version?

Noel: Well, the reason some songs become B-sides and bonus tracks and the other songs become album tracks and singles is because, if you do sixteen songs for an album, there has to be a process of elimination! You can’t put more than ten on a record because traditionally that’s what albums are! In the case of “Revolution Song” I don’t think I quite got the recording right and I don’t think I quite got the vocal right and quite frankly it’s my f**king album. I have tried to play it live a couple of times and it does sound sh*t!

VIVA Ems: I’m sure it doesn’t!

Noel: No it really does!

VIVA Ems: (Laughs) So, you’ve got the tour coming up and you’ve got the Super Furry Animals joining you. What made you choose them to come on this tour?

Noel: Well, we all used to be on Creation Records together. Plus I’m a big fan! I know the lads quite well and the keyboard player Cian, who speaks fluent Welsh, is f**king bizarrely enough an obsessive Manchester City fan! So that’s what swung it and when Oasis played the Etihad we had them on as well and we just bounced. and, as well it gives us something to do, when we’re sitting around backstage not doing anything. Why not go and watch one of your favourite bands?

VIVA Ems: You were on the Graham Norton show a few weeks ago and you declared that you hated making music videos. But David Beckham offered to be in your next one! Is that something that could happen, do you think?

Noel: Er, do you know what? It’s a funny old thing because I think he was actually serious. I was joking but I think he was actually up for it and then I got an email off some production company who’d written this idea of him and me to be in this video. I was out with David a few weeks ago but I never mentioned it because you know he’s a very busy man but maybe next time. If I write, maybe, a footbally themed song, he can do a few free kicks. Maybe. I don’t know.

VIVA Ems: Guess we’ll have to wait and see! In this next issue of VIVA – where you, the great Noel Gallagher, will be featured on the front cover – we’re also interviewing your old manager Alan McGee. We’re asking him the same question as we’re asking you. Is there anything that you’d like to say to him? 

Noel: I’d like to apologise for last Monday night when I met him. We’d been to the Q awards and Alan is sober now and then he bumped into about eleven of us who, quite frankly, were not sober. I might have chewed his f**king ear off. I was absolutely wasted and have no idea what I said to him. I might have been slagging his friend’s shoes off and then slagging him off for being bald. So if you could apologise on my behalf for my behaviour that would be amazing and, if you can ask him a question, ask him what he spent all the millions I earned him on? 

VIVA Ems: (Laughs) Ok! So he’s managing The Happy Mondays at the moment.

Noel: That’s right, I’m actually going to see them round here in Brixton. Did you see that programme of them in the jungle; it was brilliant? 

VIVA Ems: Yeah it was amazing wasn’t it! Rowetta took me to the private screening of it for my birthday.

Noel: Oh wow, yeah! You know I love the Mondays! I grew up listening to them. They are just amazing dudes as well. Shaun, Bez and Gaz. Got to know Gaz a bit and they are brilliant. I love them all. 

VIVA Ems: Ah wicked! If you were to manage a Manchester band who would it be?

Noel: Do they still have to be going?

VIVA Ems: No!

Noel: Well, in that case I’d like to manage The Smiths because I’m a masochist and I’d like the challenge of trying to tame the wild animal that is Morrissey and, if I could put them back together, that would be  f**king amazing! Other than that, maybe I could manage Frank Sidebottom. 

VIVA Ems: So Liam made up his own super-band for a TFI special. Who would be in your super-band?

Noel: Ok, I would be on rhythm guitar and backing vocals. So there’s going to be a lot of guitarists in this band! There’s gonna be Johnny Marr, then there’s the Edge, drumming is gonna be one of my favourite drummers, who was the last drummer in Oasis, Chris Sharrock! On the bass I’m gonna have Paul McCartney and singing, whilst playing the keyboard, I’ll have Weller. Truly amazing band! I’d call us The Wrong ’uns!

VIVA Ems: Sounds brilliant! Ok, so Christmas is just around the corner. Are there any family traditions that the Gallaghers carry out over the festive period?

Noel: No, I f**king hate Christmas! I really just have to go along with the bullsh*t, I’m afraid. I feel bad because my wife loves it. She gets into the spirit from about October the twenty-eighth and she buys virtually everybody on the planet a present! I’d be amazed if you don’t get one this year. I’ll see all this sh*t in the hallway and be like “what the f**k’s all this? Who are these f**king people we’re buying presents for?” I mean goodwill to all men but not all men! To be honest the only tradition is for me to put the lights on the Christmas tree while swearing and just to get through it because I hate, hate Christmas! I do like New Year though.

VIVA Ems: Bah humbug, you Scrooge! So living down South what do you kind of miss the most about Manchester?

Noel: I miss the people! I miss the shops, I miss the clothes but what I really miss is the football! I used to go to City every week and now I go every six weeks and I just miss that. The music scene as well, just the people and just the atmosphere of being where I was born. Then again, saying that, I go sometimes for the odd weekend and after three days I think, “This town is f**king off its head, man!” I want go home, do you know what I mean? There’s f**king kidnappings and dogs shooting cats!

VIVA Ems: You recently sang with U2 at the O2 arena how did that come about?

Noel: That was like a proper dream come true! I’ve been a fan since the eighties. I seen them on The War tour and I’d seen them before that but, luckily enough, when you get to be

famous, things happen and I got to meet Bono and all that and I’ve become really close friends. So much so ,that I go to his house on holiday every summer. My daughter is very friendly with his son and all the kids get on great. Our wives love each other and all that and they’ve become real, real f**king good friends of mine and yeah, this week they said, “You wouldn’t mind getting up on stage with us” and I was like “Wouldn’t mind? Uh yeah!” then they said, “Would you mind playing on ‘Still Haven’t found What I’m Looking For.’” Wouldn’t mind – f**king hell, try and stop me! Then they asked me to sing it and I was like, “Wow, this is like my f**king seventeen-year-old self sh*tting in someone else’s trousers!” But it was a really great honour to do it and I think I did a pretty good job, I’ve got to say.

VIVA Ems: That’s so cool! And you’ve got a pretty big gig coming up at Manchester’s Apollo, the Radio X Road Trip with Chris Moyles which features you, Johnny Marr, Neon Waltz and Pretty Vicious. Out of all of the Manchester venues, which is your favourite to play at?

Noel: I’ve got to say the Apollo is pretty good. I like the MEN or whatever the f**king hell it’s called now. I like them all. I’m not sure whether Oasis ever got to play The Ritz but I would have loved to have played there. All those Manchester venues I effectively grew up in and my first ever gig was at the Apollo. Yeah and my second ever gig was at the Apollo, I went to see Stiff Little Fingers and then my third ever gig was also at the Apollo which was U2. I love the Apollo It’s such a good one! I actually used to work across the road in the aquariums. I used to make fish tanks for a living and I like that little pub next door, the smallest pub in the world. So yeah, I love the Apollo, I love it, love it, love it!

VIVA Ems: You come across as a pretty stylish guy, plus Liam’s got the Pretty Green fashion label. So style must run in the family. Who has been the worst-dressed person you’ve come across recently? 

Noel: The worst? (Laughs) Oh brilliant! The worst dressed person! Well some footballers are pretty appalling, aren’t they! You meet a footballer and you think, “You know, out of all the money you f**king earn and all the Bentleys, just buy yourself a mirror! Get a full-length mirror! Get a f**king personal shopper or something but don’t come dressed like a  f**king Kazakhstani taxi driver!” 

VIVA Ems: (Hysterically laughing) Ok ,so I’m not actually a big football fan, I know f**k all about it but my brother’s given me a few football questions to ask you… So you’re a big Man City fan, why do you think they have done so badly in the Champion’s League and do you think they can turn it around this year and go on a good run in Europe?

Noel: Well, ever since we’ve been in the Champion’s League, no British team has done very well so it’s maybe a cyclical thing. We’ve always had very, very tough groups and the odds have been slightly stacked against us and I don’t think you know ’cause if you look on paper we’ve done appallingly bad! In actuality we’ve never been hammered by anyone. So I think we’re getting there but I think the manager has somehow got to kick his stubbornness and has got to play the right tactics but I think it’s just a bad time for British clubs and it’s a level up. If you’re playing in the Premier League and winning, you know, nine games out of ten, then you’re coming up against the top teams in Europe it’s a different level of football and I feel we’ve found it difficult to adapt but me personally I think where we’re at in Europe is where we should be, because we’re only new to it.

VIVA Ems: Would you like Pellegrini to create a legacy or would you rather have Pep Guardiola to come in when he’s available?

Noel: If Manuel has to go, then yes, Pep Guardiola would be the perfect choice but if the club was to come out and say he’s staying then that’s fine because I really, really like him. And he’s a massive Oasis fan! So he f**ing gets the thumbs up from me! 

VIVA Ems: Ok, so last question now! What would you most like to change in the world for 2016? 

Noel: What would I most like to change? That’s a hard one! I would like to stop Manchester United, I’d like to ban them! Oh I’d like to jail Sir Alex Ferguson for crimes against humanity! Yeah, I’d love to jail the  f**ker, put him down!

VIVA Ems: (Laughs) Noel, Thank you so much, you’ve been

absolutely amazing to speak to. I’ve been slightly hangover today as well.

Noel: (Laughs) Me too! I was out last night! No worries, Cheers! 

www.noelgallagher.com